HAPPY 200.

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I could barely believe it when I looked at my BlogFeed - 199 posts to date. Just one shy of the big two hungie. To me, that's near unfathomable. I have rambled and explored and discussed and photographed and shared almost 200 posts with you darling readers (and I am still blown away by the fact that I have 'readers' that aren't in my blood line!). 

Since I started this blog at the beginning of 2013, I have gone through ebbs and flows of inspiration, boredom, excitement, resentment and all the fun spectrum of emotions in between. I have had times when I simply didn't feel like blogging - where it felt like a chore or obligation. I promised myself, at the start of this whole shizbang, that I wanted the writing process to always be one fuelled by love, authenticity and passion. I never wanted anything to feel forced or insincere. So, as you have seen, from time to time I have gotten a little sidetracked and have adandoned the blog to follow other pursuits and commit my time to other areas - like my clinic or my studies or just my life in general. But I have always come back. I have always been passionate about sharing my passion and my love for this big ole blue planet. 

My first post went live on January 7th 2013. Entitled 'Hello There' - it was an introduction to me, my back story, my hopes and aspirations and my vision for this little corner of the web. I still think it's pretty special that every single thing I spoke about in that initial post rings true today. The themes and content within the blog have changed over time, as my personal interests start to follow a number of different paths, but the overall sentiment has not changed one iota. 

"I feel like I’m staring ahead at a very exciting and winding little road but with no idea how to navigate it. That’s where you beautiful little souls come in. There’s an old proverb that tells us that everyone in the universe is a puzzle piece and it’s up to us to find one another and work together to ‘make the picture’.  I’m hoping that Bless This Mess connects me to all you puzzle pieces out there – whether you’re scrumptiously similar or deliciously different to myself"

I am so grateful for everyone I have encountered on this journey. From my teachers who have truly inspired me; the lessons I have learnt along the way; the friends and family who have supported my every interest and pursuit wholeheartedly (and as a complete and utter multipassionate - trust me, there have been a lot of interests over the years) ... I am just beyond blessed to have such Earth Angels in my life.

I think that such a monumental post calls for a little bit of reflection - given that I love me some nostalgia and reflection baby. The woman pounding away at the keys right now is quite different from the woman who sat before you on January 7th. Sure her hair is the same colour (and probably the same length given that I'm absolutely terrible at being a girl and give no time to my hair - sorry my dear mop o' hair) and her fingers strum in the same way across the keys as they always did. But a few things, little and big, have shifted within her.

this journey has changed me ...

+ I still have bad days and times when my insecurities get the better of me but overall I have learnt more about unconditional love. I am forever loving and supporting my friends and family - believing (sincerely) that they can do and be anything they want to be; that they're beautiful; that they're the shiniest and most incredible gift in this universe - yet shift to my inner dialogue and it was a different story. I have learnt that it's so integral that we first have a good relationship with ourselves. We need to back ourselves, love ourselves and accept ourselves unconditionally. I am not perfect in this regard, whatsoever, but I am learning and growing. 
+ I am an optimist. I have realised that, by counting my blessings and expressing gratitude wherever possible, it makes it kind of impossible to get stuck in the negative mindset for too long. There is too much good in the world. It allows us to focus on the incredible blessings that we have been gifted and forget about the daily comeuppance' that may piss us off temporarily. Good things are all around us. Always.
+ I am strong. I am someone who can make a stand for themselves, for others and who is confident enough to share their views without fear of judgement. I am stronger because of the incredible network around me who are my backbone when mine is a little skewed.
+ I love to write. I missed this. I missed my days as a kid when I would literally be the happiest kid in Leeming when I got a new notepad and could write. I remember wanting to join after school English groups and wanting to write poems and short stories and even lists (I know - creative badass right here) in my free time. I loved it and then I kind of lost it. I'm so grateful that in my journey I've come across the creativeness of my writing once again. I am really excited to pursue this more over the coming year and really exploring my gifts of the gab and gifts of the written word. (It still feels weird writing gift - because it feels self righteous - but as per point one, I'm determined to be nicer to myself and celebrate my uniqueness g.dammit).
+ I ADORE connecting with others. Oh holy tolitoes. Every time I get an email from a reader, a new facebook fan or insta follower - I near pee my pants. I seriously get so excited that there are people out there who WANT to learn about what I'm splashin' out. I love to learn from others and to hear their aspirations and to see what they're doing and to learn about their passions. Being on this little journey has also enhanced my relationships as the love and appreciation I feel for everyone in my life has just overflowed. I am SO dang lucky.
+ I am a little more 'spiritual' than I once thought. I have beliefs, I have faith, I have respect for other religions. But I have found my 'God' and I am humbled and safe and happy that I have a better interpretation of exactly what that means for me. 
+ I want to keep going. I want to keep this train chuggin' and see where it takes us. I want to grow this vision of mine and watch it change the world.

Happy 200 and thank you for your unwaivering support, love, comments, emails, questions and enthusiasm. I am so grateful for YOU.

Blessings and 200 posts infused with 'Au De Emilia' x