A LETTER TO MY 16 YEAR OLD SELF

16 year old me at my School Ball; and 24 year old me in Bali Bali :)

I came across this soulful post by my gorgeous friend Anna and it automatically resonated with me and the synchronicity of it was almost too ridiculous to ignore. She wrote the post on the fortnight eve of her 25^th birthday. As I type this, I am less than 2 weeks out from my 25^th and am so looking forward to this milestone birthday. I know nothing will notably change from one day to the next; I know that age is just a number and I know that 25 means getting older and having more responsibilities and being more adult BUT I am so effing excited. There is an energy about the place this year, a humming and a buzz that underlies our day to day activities, and it feels like that big ole ball of energy is growing and building up to something magical. And, call me a hopeless romantic or whatever the label might be, but this looming birthday feels like it’s going to be super special. All of that energy is fuelling something big and I feel that I’m truly on my way to uncover just that, and my authentic potential, in this coming 25^th year.

So without further ado, I have written a heartfelt, soul wrenching and honest letter from my 24 year old self to my 16 year old self.

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Dear Emily

There is just so much going on in your life right now and I know that you’re just a big ball of mixed emotions. You wake up some mornings so excited for the future and what it might bring, and other nights you cry yourself to sleep absolutely terrified of what’s around the corner or of the possibility of ‘failing’ at anything. I’ve been there, lived it, seen it, gotten through it and I promise you that you get through it. The TEE exams you’re terrified of – you apply yourself and blitz them. The course you want to start – you choose wrong, then follow your gut and choose right. The constant self hate and agonising focus on every single bit of food that passes your lips – that goes and you discover a way of making choices that are based on self love and respect and leave you healthier than ever. Your fear of being alone forever – berm bermmm you won’t be. He’s on his way. Your fear of having people ‘not love you’ – wrong again, you attract incredible people into your life who will stick by you through all of life’s up and downs and who love you unconditionally.

You always felt a little ‘lost’ and a little unsure of yourself. I want you to know that you do eventually find yourself, your authentic self, and you prioritise self love and self respect in everything that you do. When you find this person and live honestly and humbly, opportunities arise and life flows so beautifully that you just KNOW you’re on the right track.

You know how you always are pulled towards the ‘health’ and ‘self development’ aisle of bookstores, and you pretend you’re looking for something else when you are surrounded by really depressed looking people? Well guess what? You eventually ignore what you think you ‘should’ be reading and read so many profound, game changing, energy shifting and inspirational books that help to develop your sense of self, what you want in your life and how to live a life of purpose. You’re a bookworm now, and you always will be darling.

That ‘connection’ that you have with your family that you think couldn’t possibly get stronger? Well it does. And you continue to count your blessings for your incredibly supportive and loving family. They are healthy and well and have themselves grown over time and become their best selves. You run with your dad, your mum is FINALLY starting her cake business and Shanny has grown into the most beautiful, strong, independent and loving little human. You are lucky enough to have that closeness with all of your extended family too. There are some ups and downs and you will learn about loss but with the love and support that webs your family together, you will all get through. You’re blessed to have them and you know it.

“Business shmisness” we said a million times. Never having an accounting or entrepreneurial bone in our body, we had written ourselves off as always ‘working for the man’ and never being the boss. Guess what sunshine? You run a successful speech pathology practice (yeah, I know, we do speech pathology now…) and you are also looking to branch into health/life coaching. Freakin’ insane right? It’s scary, at times, but a lot of fun and you have a whole army of supporters and cheerleaders that make it seem possible.

“I’m allergic to running” we said. You get over this in your late teens and start running. Initially to fundraise and very much inconsistently (some days you hate it) but you do become a runner. And you run for fun, never for medals (… sorry to break it to you darling, we aren’t that good) and you take part in fun runs and community events and finish every run with a smile on your face. Oh and you decided one day that you’d do a triathlon. And you did.

My biggest piece of advice and most profound thing I have learnt in my adult years is that when you trust in, believe in, love and accept yourself INCREDIBLE THINGS happen.

“If you judge a fish on it’s ability to climb a tree, it will spend it’s whole life believing that it is stupid” Albert Einstein. Embrace your strengths and acknowledge your weaknesses. I am telling you now, the sooner that you do this, the sooner you will blossom. And, yes, you develop a bit of a sicko crush on ole Albie Einstein in your mid twenties so prepare for an onslaught of his visionary words and quotes scribbled on post its all around yo’ house girl!

Hold your head up, keep your loved ones close, remember to breathe and smile darling. You’ve got this.

Love me x