A LITTLE TRIP DOWN MEMORY LANE ...

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The past few weeks have seen me invest so much of my time, energy and love into this little baby of a blog. I have been writing more soulfully, pursuing creative ventures, planning like a mother bitch and spending more time reflecting on my intentions, hopes and dreams for this space. As such, I've spent a bit of my time trying to be a 'reader'. I have taken off my writers' hat and have tried to explore this space just as you would - reading posts, trying recipes, applying the teachings or strategies and basically seeing this space for what it is, as unbiasedly as possible. 

Although it's far from perfect - some posts are rife with spelling and grammatical errors, some posts seem to crap on about nothing, the aesthetics are a little poopy, I'm such a slop when it comes to newsletters and updates (but I'm definitely improving and this has been one of my most recent commitments) - perfection is boring and I truly believe that every single word on this blog is a true reflection of me. It has grown over the years, as have I, and I think the writing, content and energy of the posts captures this change. I am all about writing in the moment, about capturing the stirrings of my heart (or whirrings of my mind) and expressing that through my words and pictures. 

Because I've been doing oh-so-much reading in this little cave of wonders - I have rediscovered posts and have almost explored them with completely new eyes, given that it's been so long between read throughs. I have cringed at posts where I didn't write well, I have smiled at posts that I poured my heart and soul into, I have laughed at my early day references to Ryan Gosling, I have been proud of the authenticity and truth of my words, I have rediscovered information about topics that I so passionately wrote about at the time and I have been back in my kitch using recipes of old! 

I wanted to share with you all of my favourite posts from the past 16 months. Have a peruse, sit and devour them all at once, or come back to this post every now and again to revisit 'old friends'. If you're new to Bless this Mess, this could be a very timely post and you will get to explore a little of the 'behind the scenes' musings of yesteryear (or yestermonth, or yesterweek ...). 

The posts below are my proud little gems that I would love to share again with you - 

Personal 

+ A Letter to my 16 year old Self - I cried writing this. Raw and kind.

+ My First Year as a Blogger - 12 months of lessons and a labour of love.

+ The Simple Truth - my heart on my sleeve.

Recipes 

+ Vegan icecream - oh holy sheet do I revisit this bad boy regularly?!

+ Raw chocolate brownies - my best ever kitchen creation.
+ My everyday salad - seriously, everyday.
+ Green smoothie  - my first video on BTM. Andddd I love this smoothie.

Spirit

+ Mind, body and spirit - the first of my 'spiritual' posts.

+ Epiphanies and shit - recent but profound.

+ We are ALL connected - simple and true.

Health 

+ The Lifestyle Transformation Guide - hands down one of the best investments I have ever made in myself. It changed my life.

+ Runs and Rides with dad - such a precious thing that connects us even more, I truly treasure time spent with my incredible papa.

+ Yoga love - because we could all do with a little more yoga.

Enviro and Society

+ The Ocean Garbage Patch - a cause that is so very close to my heart.

+ Disparity of Wealth - my first post that wasn't orientated towards typical health and wellness, and I think I tapped into another area of passion that day!

+ Kind Cleaning - practical and crazy informative!

So that's my wrap up! 16 months of blogging and these tidbits are probably my favourite nuggets o' Emily. The power of blogging blows me away. I started the blog as a means of sharing information and connecting with likeminded people but I cannot believe how much I myself have grown in the process. This 'online diary' has allowed me to see, in a chronicled history of posts, just how much my thoughts, beliefs, passions and learnings have shifted and developed. I truly hope you enjoy reading these posts and exploring this space as much as I enjoy delivering it to you. Truly.

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What are your favourite posts - either from BTM or other sites? Share in the comments below and let's have a 'coffee and reading' sort of Sunday!

Blessings and muddy feet from my stroll down memory lane x

WARM FUZZY FRIDAYS - Epiphanies and Shit.

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Ah, I adore this silhouette.

At the moment I am pushing and stretching myself further and further - spiritually, emotionally, physically, in work, in play ... in life. I have been tuning into my 'inner guide' - that little voice that, in this day and age of crazy busyness, we silence and tend to ignore. But this voice, this meek, soft and silenced voice, is so insanely powerful and incredibly insightful. By acknowledging and honouring this voice, we can learn to heal ourselves. Our inner guide is a master of disguise and can serve as our doctor, nutritionist, friend, counsellor, personal trainer, teacher - you name it. Trust that voice and I promise you it will lead you on your true path.

So. I took my own advice and honed in on that voice, held up a big ole (metaphoric but still rad) amplifier and let that inner voice take centre stage. Something in me stirred and encouraged me to commit to a radical transformation. One of intense spiritual, physical and emotional growth. And how am I getting there? Yoga, writing, running, journalling, meditation, quiet time, active weekends, organic food, juice cleansing and surrounding myself with abundant love and support. I've launched straight into my quiet meditative practice and yoga classes and, boy oh boy, did my Inner Guide respond with gusto!

I want to preface my little story by sharing with you all the significance behind this beautiful symbol. The 'aum' consists of three curves, one semicircle and a dot. These are symbols of each persons self and their potential. The large curve (lower left corner) - symbolises the 'waking state' and is symbolic of ego - our outward persona, the person we think we should be, the identity that we consciously associate with the self. The upper curve (upper left) symbolises the 'unconscious self' and is the part of ourselves that is hidden from ones unconsciousness. The middle curve represents the 'dream state' - the connection between the conscious and unconscious. The semicircle (floating symbol) represents the 'illusion' that self exists as a separate entity. This illusion separates the individual from becoming one with the 'infinite self'. The dot represents the 'infinite, absolute self'. It symbolises the ultimate experience of life and of the Divine. Ok - so can you see now why I'm obsessed with the incredible intricacies of this simple symbol!

So ...

During a yoga class this week, at a new venue that I'm trying on for size (& just quietly am adoring), I had such a beautiful moment of pristine clarity and almost epiphany-like realisation. I saw myself - only it wasn't me. It felt like me, she had my features, she had my spirit but she was a little different. She was so physically at ease, comfortable in her skin, oozed health and vitality, was radiant with love and seemed to possess such self assurance and peace. I truly believe that she was my infinite, absolute self. She's in me and she is pounding on the confining walls of my current self. But she's close, oh so close, to coming through to the big wide world. 

I trusted my inner guide and it led me to such a beautiful moment. I feel so comforted by the experience and so inspired to continue fostering transformations in myself and others. Please know that you, I, everyone and everything on this planet deserves a life of absolute beauty, light, happiness and above all love. 

Let's start a revolution. What are you committing to for the month of May to show yourself some love and honour that Inner Guidance?

Blessings and profound gratitude for this beautiful thing called 'life' x

SHARE THE LOVE - A Video to Inspire and Spark Change

THIS video is incredible. This week's edition of MarieTv was such a doozy. Full of incredible theory, practical strategies and incredibly valuable lessons in the arena of personal growth and change. I am such an advocate of goal setting and transformation but, truth be told, I'm someone that often comes up against significant resistance and self-sabotage style avoidance whenever I initially set my goals. Sometimes I power through and am a woman of my word and other times I fall flat on mah face. Marie Forleo and the oh so spunky Todd Herman have shed some light on this (and so divinely timed as I plan to embark of a pretty transformative few months - thanks universe for having my back, again!) and explain the difference between the opposing mindsets when we are faced with change.

Today's 'Share the Love' post is all about this fab video - so that's it from me. Short and sweet my darlings. 

I suggest you get comfy and watch it immediately - if not sooner.

Blessings and lots of screaming from my 'ow' brain x

WHEN YOU FEEL A LITTLE LOST

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It's been a slow few weeks. I have been telling myself - time and time again - that I need to just stop for a while and reboot. But I didn't listen. I went faster. Added more to my plate and kept chugging forwards. I wasn't being 'mean' to myself - I like being busy and seeing people and studying feverishly and learning lots and working with clients etc. It's not like I was hating life while I was so busy, I still was so happy and in love with my life, I was just tired. So after ignoring small signs that my body may have needed a break - no energy, trouble sleeping, anxiety - last Sunday I got a BAS (big ass sign). I woke up and literally felt like I had been hit by a truck. Everything hurt. EVERYTHING. Every muscle, joint and bone ached. Sleep was inevitable as it was all I could manage while I felt so terrible - so I hopped into bed and stayed there for the next 24hours in hopes that I would wake up spritely and with abunant energy ready for a busy Monday. Berm bermm. Long story short - last week was a complete write off. Normally, when I'm sick, I can still function. I can still write, work on reports, make phone calls etc. This was oh so different. I couldn't do anything. My body was screaming 'stop!' and all it wanted to do, and needed to do, was sleep. 

I was wracked with guilt. 'But I have SO much to do', 'How am I going to be able to pay the mortgage if I take time off work?' and of course 'But I feel so lazy'. This inner dialogue of guilt imposing meanness went on for days until the words from people I love finally sunk in - 'stop, rest and give yourself time to heal'. As soon as I gave myself permission to heal - wouldn't you know it - I healed so much faster. Even though my body went through all sorts of different illnesses in one week (I swear I've met my quota for the year in just 7 days!) - it actually became easier to deal with once I'd granted myself permission to just be. By Sunday I was pretty much back to my old self, more energy, less dizziness, no significant aches and pains. Just a little worse for wears, but very much 'Emily'.

This week it started again. The self bashing and the 'shouldas'. 'I should be working harder to make up for last week', 'I should have forced myself to study when I was in bed last week' or 'Now that I'm better I should go for a run since I didn't do anything last week'. I'm a blogger who hasn't been blogging, a runner who hasn't run in months, a positivity junkie who hasn't been all that positive, a food lover who hasn't been cooking, a passionate wordsmith who hasn't been reading, a student who has struggled with studying...

and that's all ok.

We so often punish ourselves for what we're not, or what we are 'failing' to do. But in any given moment, we need to trust ourselves that we are doing our very best. In every single moment, I believe we are exactly where we are meant to be. Sure, we can choose to try harder in certain areas or can dedicate ourselves to achieving x, y or z. But ultimately we are exactly who we need to be and where we need to be.

Instead of subscribing to this inner dialogue of what I 'should' be, I'm-a change channels. I am investing instead in raw, honest, divine, beautiful and complete trust in myself and the process. I trust that we will always get to where we need to be, we will always do what's right, we will always be heading in the right direction for ourselves. 

Momentary swaying off course is just that. Momentary. Come back to you and you will always be exactly where you need to be. 

Blessings and love soaked permission to be perfectly imperfect x

I'M JUMPING ON THE POLITICAL BANDWAGON ...

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Remember when I told you that there has been a change in the waters around these parts? And therefore a change to the content that will be shared, promoted, discussed, encouraged and celebrated over the coming year here at Bless this Mess. Well my babies it kicks off right now. 

Call it an 'enlightening', a 'coming of age' or even just post the process of removing my freakin' blinkers but something has changed in me. The girl who used to accept whatever was presented to her, gullible and naiive, who would gobble up any bullshit she was fed (sorry for the cuss words mama) is long gone. I am thirsty for knowledge. I am questioning everything (much to David's annoyance - sorry darling). I am learning more and more about the world I live in every single dang day. I have recently discussed all this with a friend and told her quite emphatically that it's 'impossible to unlearn what I have learnt'. Being in my current position, of which I am entirely and completely grateful so please do not get me wrong, I have only been exposed to a fairly 'idealistic' world that has led me to be shockingly sheltered and ignorant. And I don't believe it's anyone's 'fault' so I'm not pointing fingers or playing the blame game but something's gotta give. We are all equal and rightful inhabitants of this planet and we deserve equality, freedom and happiness. It's taken me 25 years to realise just how incredibly wrong I was in my perception of the world and how profound the disparity amongst our global community truly is. I'm not just talking moolah here either, although today's post is kind of geared that way, but rather I'm acknowledging the complete polar worlds that fellow humans can exist within. 

It's not all doom and gloom. I know I have done a brain dump and outright 'poo poo' towards our current social and economic climate - that's just how my monkey mind processes big stuff. But, it's with absolute sincerity, a fire in my belly and blinding optimism that I tell you

it's going to get better.

Individually, we are rather voiceless. As a community, as a tribe, as a movement, we are freakin' unstoppable. We have more power within us and between us than we could ever possibly begin to understand. 

Tap into your power. Find your voice. Find your passion.  

I have big hopes, big plans and big dreams. And guess what sunshine, they all include you. My missions and hopes for this year are all boiling down to one common factor - creating a community of peaceful, kind and passionate individuals who are seeking more. More knowledge, more change, more activism, more equality, more enlightenment. If this is appeals to you, stick around, we are about to get our hands dirty.

Blessings and a rumbling in my belly that no food can possibly avail x

PS. Want to know what sparked this brain vomit? An incredibly powerful 6min clip on the reality of the US' distribution of wealth - click here to have your mind blown. Oh and on another note - I have lost approximately a gazillion hours of my life since I discovered Upworthy. It's news and trends worth sharing my friends. Spread the love.

LEARNING MORE ABOUT ME...

I am a complete sucker for personality tests and anything that starts to unpack what drives me, what motivates me and what my 'essence' is all about...

Enter my latest batch o' results and scores from the Enneagram Institute - designed to suss out what your predominant personality type is and to encourage personal growth and awareness. Sounds exactly like my cup of tea.

As always, eclectic Emily was a mix of oh-so-many. According to their free online sampler test - I am part Helper; Investigator, Achiever, Enthusiast and Peacemaker.

THE HELPER

Enneagram Type Two

The Caring, Interpersonal Type:
Generous, Demonstrative, People-Pleasing, and Possessive

So what's a Two all about?

Twos are empathetic, sincere, and warm-hearted. They are friendly, generous, and self-sacrificing, but can also be sentimental, flattering, and people-pleasing. They are well-meaning and driven to be close to others, but can slip into doing things for others in order to be needed. They typically have problems with possessiveness and with acknowledging their own needs. At their Best: unselfish and altruistic, they have unconditional love for others.

• Basic Fear: Of being unwanted, unworthy of being loved
• Basic Desire: To feel loved
• Enneagram Two with a One-Wing: "Servant"
• Enneagram Two with a Three-Wing: "The Host/Hostess"

Key Motivations: Want to be loved, to express their feelings for others, to be needed and appreciated, to get others to respond to them, to vindicate their claims about themselves.

The Meaning of the Arrows (in brief)

When moving in their Direction of Disintegration (stress), needy Twos suddenly become aggressive and dominating at Eight. However, when moving in their Direction of Integration (growth), prideful, self-deceptive Twos become more self-nurturing and emotionally aware, like healthy Fours. 

Examples and famous Twos: Paramahansa Yogananda, Pope John XXIII, Guru Ammaji (“The Hugging Saint”), Byron Katie, Bishop Desmond Tutu, Eleanor Roosevelt, Nancy Reagan, Monica Lewinsky, Ann Landers, Mary Kay Ash (Mary Kay Cosmetics), Leo Buscaglia, Richard Simmons, Luciano Pavarotti, John Denver, Lionel Richie, Stevie Wonder, Barry Manilow, Dolly Parton, Josh Groban, Music of Journey, Bobby McFerrin, Kenny G, Paula Abdul, Priscilla Presley, Elizabeth Taylor, Danny Thomas, Martin Sheen, Jennifer Tilly, Danny Glover, Richard Thomas “John Boy Walton,” Juliette Binoche, Arsenio Hall, Timothy Treadwell “Grizzly Man,” “Melanie Hamilton Wilkes” (Gone with the Wind), “Eve Harrington” (All About Eve), “Dr. McCoy” (Star Trek)

What did the test reveal for you? The profile above fits me to a 't'. Ridic on the money! Take the test and share below!

Blessings and 'two' styled love swaddled kisses and cuddles x